January 14, 2011
 
Tucson, Ariz. -- Soon after a gunman opened fire at a public political event in Arizona, Americans were talking about ways to tone down angry rhetoric. Although the motives of shooter Jared Loughner, 22, are unclear, officials and commentators lamented how Americans treat one another -- especially when they disagree about politics and policies.

While speaking at a memorial service for the victims on Wednesday, President Obama encouraged citizens and leaders to get past their divisions. "What we can't do is use this tragedy as one more occasion to turn on one another," he said. Instead of "pointing fingers or assigning blame," he added, Americans should "sharpen our instincts for empathy."

Outside a Tucson grocery store last Saturday, six people were killed and 12 were wounded, including U.S. Representative Gabrielle Giffords, the apparent target of the attack.

In a column titled "Why Does It Take Tragedy to Unify Us?" Bob Greene pointed out that "it takes the darkest national moments for us to share a collective deep breath and question the way we have been talking to each other and treating each other."

Greene said it shouldn't take a terrorist attack or a senseless massacre for Americans to put aside pettiness and try to recognize the best in each other. Instead of going back to "unremitting acrimony" when news coverage of the tragedy subsides, he said, Americans should heed the advice of President Richard Nixon: "We cannot learn from one another until we stop shouting at one another."

Former Congressman Lee Hamilton, leader of the 9/11 commission, said, "I think we have to get back to a much more civil discussion in the country-and to recognize that this is a great big complicated country. We shouldn't fall out of our chairs because someone disagrees with us, but the manner in which you disagree makes an awful lot of difference in society."

Sources: csmonitor.com, cnn.com

Discussion Questions:

• How did you feel about the conversations that took place immediately after this shooting? What surprised-or didn't surprise-you about the topics and tone? Why do people tend to leap to conclusions and point fingers before all the facts are known?
• Do you agree that this particular tragedy is uniting America, or have you sensed that it's dividing people and political parties even further? Explain.
• What is it about bad news that brings people together, at least for a while? Why don't America's stretches of unity ever seem to last very long?
• What might a more civil America look and sound like? Would you want to live in a country where everyone generally had the same opinion? Why or why not?
• What purpose do differences and divisions serve in a democracy? in a community? in a family? in a church? In what ways did Jesus promote division or unity?
• Why is our first reaction to a problem often to assign blame? What happens to people individually and as a whole when "shouting" occurs and escalates? How would life be different if everyone searched for solutions first, instead?
• What symptoms of incivility do you notice in your daily environment? How do people you encounter every day typically treat one another, and how does that affect you?
• How do you typically handle disagreements? How is it possible to disagree with someone's opinion and still treat him or her respectfully? Have you ever learned something important from someone who holds much different views from you? If so, explain.
• In general, how empathetic are you? Do you seek to understand other people's viewpoints or just tolerate them? Explain. How willing are you to forgive when someone hurts or offends you?
• Think of a time someone has looked for the best in you: How does it feel to be given the benefit of the doubt, especially when you might not deserve it? 

Scripture links: Genesis 32:3-12 and 33:1-4; Matthew 12:25; Luke 12:49-53; Romans 15:1-7; Galatians 5:19-26; Philippians 2:1-4. 
 
Stephanie Martin is a freelance writer and editor in Colorado.