It is said that confession is good for the soul. Why, then, do people in our time seem to have so much difficulty with it? Politicians "cross the line" in some area of behavior, and instead of confessing, they speak of "plausible deniability" and bring out their "spin doctors" to make their mistakes or sins look like something far more benign. But this is not just a problem with politicians.

Most of us have a strong aversion to admitting our flaws and failures. We can't control our anger, but instead of confessing the weakness, we blame the rest of the world for "making us mad." We buy far more than we need, and instead of confessing to our own greed, we blame our society for being "too commercial." Certainly all complex problems have many contributing factors, but why is it so difficult to confess that at least part of the problem is us? It's hard! We do so want to think of ourselves as competent, good people!

Confession is tough because it is brutal honesty. It's coming clean before God, admitting to him exactly the kind of people we really are. And since we know what kind of people we really are, that's tough to do. But the good news is that God already knows what we're really like. Confessing to God doesn't give God any more information about us than he already has. And God loves us—flaws, doubts, and all!

God wants us to be open and honest with him. Confession increases our intimacy with him, and it increases our dependence on him. God wants us to confess where we fall short of what we should be—that's how we recognize how much we need his presence in our lives. This lesson will help you to find the importance of confession in prayer and how such confession can free up the rest of your life.

Part 1: Learn It

Start It (15 minutes)

"Lite" Confessions

Have someone read aloud the following list of questions one at a time. Have group members stand up to "confess" that they've committed that "offense."

• Have you ever gone skinny-dipping in a river, ocean, lake, or farm pond?

• Have you ever gone to a grocery store mainly to eat the free samples?

• Have you ever let the answering machine screen your calls even though you were home?

• Have you ever stuck your used chewing gum on the underside of a public table?

• Have you ever drunk right out of the milk or juice carton and put it back in the refrigerator?

• Have you ever sneaked into a drive-in movie?

• Have you ever called someone and then forgotten who it was you had called?

• Have you ever had a conversation with someone at church and tried to cover up the fact that you had totally forgotten his or her name?

Next, choose one or two of the following questions to answer and share with the group:

• How do you feel when you have to confess to something? Does it make it easier if it's something silly like one of the questions above? Explain.

• When you were a child or teenager, how likely were your parents to admit it to you when they were wrong? How did you feel about this?

• When you were a teenager, what was the hardest thing you ever had to confess to your parents?

Study It (45-60 minutes)

If you have a large group, form smaller groups of four to seven people to answer the discussion questions. At the end of the Study It section, allow time for the subgroups to report to the whole group.

1. Read each of the following statements. Discuss whether you agree or disagree with each of them. If possible, use Scripture passages you're familiar with to support your opinions.

• A Christian's daily sins aren't forgiven until they're confessed.

• Confessing our sins makes us closer to God.

• Confessing our sins increases God's favor toward us.

• It's just as important to confess to other Christians as it is to confess to God.

• Confessing as a group (nation, church, or family) is important and effective.

Read 1 Kings 8:33-36; Nehemiah 1:5-9; Proverbs 28:13; and 1 John 1:9, and discuss the following questions:

2. What is the purpose of confession?

Read the following quote:

"Some of the burdens I had carried for so long seemed to disappear [when I confessed]. I sensed God was neither angry nor surprised by my confession. On the contrary, He had patiently waited to hear from my own lips what He knew to be true all along." -- Manfred Koehler

Also read Psalm 32:3-5, then discuss the following questions:

3. What emotions do people experience before and after confessing to God? Why do we experience those emotions?

4. Why is confession so hard for us?

5. How did confession or lack of confession affect the following people? Form four groups, and give each group one of these passages:

• Adam and Eve—Genesis 3:1-19,

• Cain—Genesis 4:8-16,

• David—2 Samuel 12:1-15; Psalm 51, or

• The Prodigal Son—Luke 15:11-24.

6. Read the definitions of the word "confess":

Confess: 1. a) to admit (a fault or crime) b) to acknowledge (an opinion or view) 2. to declare one's faith in. -- Webster's New World College Dictionary

Then look at the way the word "confess" is used in the following verses. Discuss all that it means to confess.

• Romans 10:9-10

• Philippians 2:9-11

• Hebrews 13:15

7. Confession can be described as "laying your soul bare" before God. How does being completely open and honest before God affect us and our relationship with God?

Read Psalm 51:6.

8. Why does God want us to acknowledge the truth about him? the truth about ourselves?

9. How would incorporating confession in your prayers improve your prayer life?

Close It (15-30 minutes)

Plan It

Review the Do It options in the Live It section of this session, and make plans as a group to complete one of these activities prior to moving on to the next session. This is your opportunity to move from theory to practice -- carpe diem!

Pray It

Share prayer requests, and close in prayer. Be sure to ask God to guide your efforts as you plan and carry out a Live It activity.

What activity are we going to do?

When are we going to do it?

Where will this take place?

Other: Special instructions/my responsibility

Part 2: Live It

Option 1

Have each group member concentrate on confession in his or her personal prayer life this week. Each day bring your confessions to God concerning a different area of your life. Here is a suggested schedule:

Monday -- confess to how you have hurt other family members.

Tuesday -- confess to where you have failed to love your neighbors.

Wednesday -- confess to where you have failed to live up to Jesus' standards at work, at school, or in your interactions with the business community.

Thursday -- confess to where you have fallen short in seeking to learn more about God and God's will.

Friday -- confess to where you have fallen short in your personal morality.

Saturday -- confess to a way in which you have put other "gods" before the true God (materialism, pleasing people, personal power). Sunday -- confess to any improper attitudes you have found within yourself during worship (preoccupation with how you look to others, hostility toward fellow worshippers).

The purpose of all of this is not to feel bad about all of your failures but to take a clear look at them, turn them over to God, and make needed changes.

Option 2

Together, recite this prayer of confession from The Book of Common Prayer. Then have a time of silent, corporate prayer for people to confess their own sins. Then have a time for spoken prayer for people to confess aloud what God moves them to confess.

"Almighty and most merciful Father; We have erred, and strayed from thy ways like lost sheep. We have followed too much the devices and desires of our own hearts. We have offended against thy holy laws. We have left undone those things which we ought to have done; And we have done those things which we ought not to have done; And there is no health in us. But thou, O Lord, have mercy upon us, miserable offenders. Spare thou those, O God, who confess their faults. Restore thou those who are penitent; According to thy promises declared unto mankind In Christ Jesus our Lord. And grant, O most merciful Father, for his sake; That we may hereafter live a godly, righteous, and sober life, To the glory of thy holy Name. Amen."

Option 3

In a journal, start writing all the things you have done that you regret. Don't stop to analyze or censor what you are writing—just write. Then in your prayer time for the week, take your journal and pray over what you have written. When you see something there for which you need understanding, ask for understanding from God. When you see something for which you need forgiveness, ask for forgiveness.

Option 4

Think of one person you have hurt or offended in the past few weeks. Determine what you did that was wrong or inappropriate. First confess it to God in prayer, asking for better understanding of your actions and forgiveness for what you did wrong. Then go to the person, confess, and ask for that person's forgiveness. Make sure that you simply ask for forgiveness -- do not try to justify your action or prod the person into confessing how he or she may have wronged you.

Option 5

Together, read parts of The Confessions of Saint Augustine. If no one in the group owns a copy, it can be found at the library. There are also several online versions. Then have everyone work on writing his or her own confession of faith. Read aloud your confessions to one another. Then pray together, confessing your faith in God and the truth about yourselves.

Debrief It

After experiencing this session's Live It activity, as a group discuss these questions:

• On a scale of 1 (low) to 10 (high), how would you rank this experience for yourself? Why?

• What was the most important insight you gained from this experience?

• How can you incorporate this kind of prayer into your life regularly?