Jesus maintained different levels of relationships in his earthly ministry. Like the pastor of one of today's mega-churches, he preached to thousands at a time. Yet, like a small-group leader, he had a "fellowship circle" in the Twelve; young men he knew and who knew him well. He had an even more intimate small group of just a few, as he would often pull away with Peter, James, and John.

Jesus is our example for life and ministry, and there's no better model of a small-group leader than Jesus himself.

What a Small Group Is

A small group could be as few as two people in a one-on-one relationship or as many as a baker's dozen. Generally speaking, most small groups are made up of six to 12 people who meet together regularly, usually weekly.

Together, small-group members take a look at God's Word and apply it to their lives. What's more, they're committed to one another—exhorting, encouraging, and praying for each other. In fact, among the small-group leader's key responsibilities is ensuring that the small-group setting is one where the "one another/each other" verses of the Bible can be lived out. For example:

• Be devoted to and honor one another (Romans 12:10).
• Instruct one another (Romans 15:14).
• Encourage and build up one another (1 Thessalonians 5:11).
• Carry each other's burdens (Galatians 6:2).
• Confess sins to and pray for each other (James 5:16).

There are several ways to pull together a small group. It could be based on where people live, when and how often they want to meet, what they want to study, or the stage of life that they're in. Groups might focus on reaching out to unchurched people who are seeking something spiritual, support groups for hurting people, groups that focus on service to others, and groups committed to growing deeper spiritually. Because of these various purposes, some small groups will be open to new members, while others will be closed. It's up to the leader and his or her small group to decide.

Qualifications of Small-Group Leaders

Small groups are sometimes referred to as TLC groups. This can stand for Tender-Loving-Care or Tiny-Little-Church groups. In many respects, a small group is like a tiny, little church, and the small-group leader is like a pastor. So, Bible passages that speak of the characteristics of overseers also apply to small-group leaders.

The apostle Paul explained to his young protégé Timothy that those who set their hearts on being overseers are characterized as desiring a noble task, and are expected to be above reproach, married to one person, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not money-lovers, able to manage family well, not new Christians, and possessing a good reputation with outsiders (1 Timothy 3:1-7; also see Titus 1:5-9).

The spiritual gifts of small-group leaders tend to include shepherding, teaching, leadership, exhortation, and wisdom. Small-group leaders are concerned about the spiritual welfare of group members and guide them toward greater godliness.

Are you personally prepared to lead? How's your walk with God? No, it doesn't have to be perfect, but it should be up to date. Does Christ live in you? Is he giving you victory? Do you sense that God is leading you to serve him as a small-group leader? These are some of the questions you'll want to ask and answer.

On the Behind-the-Scenes Team

Someone has said that a person without a small group is an accident waiting to happen. The same could be said about a small-group leader without a support team. Solomon said that two are better than one, and a "cord of three strands is not quickly broken" (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12). Your "cord of three strands" might include:

An apprentice-leader—Someone you're bringing along with the goal that he or she will one day carry the baton of this or a new small group.

A small-group host—A person who sets an atmosphere of warmth and welcome, that encourages openness and trust.

A small-group coach—A champion who'll pray for you, encourage and exhort you, and help you keep your head in the game.

If possible, consider a fourth member of your "cord of strands"; someone to take care of the kids or coordinate childcare, if applicable.

Where to Start

Start with your own heart. Again, talk with God and make sure you're up to date with him. Don't try to refresh others from a dry well. Pray—not only for yourself, but for each person in your group.

Once your group starts to meet, what you'll study together will depend in large part on the needs of those in your group. Where are they in their faith? Is there a book study or series that can help meet their needs? Consider what's going on in your church—would a particular study accent your pastor's preaching? What holidays are coming up that you might key off of?

Ask God to lead you through each lesson. He knows who's going to be there and what each person needs. As you prepare to lead the study, yield to the Holy Spirit's guidance as you study God's Word first, and then supplement your preparation with resources such as a Bible commentary or dictionary.

When formulating questions for your group's discussion, ease the group into the lessons with a question or two to whet their appetites and get them to open up. For example, if you're going to take a look at the feeding of the 5,000, you might ask: "What's the hungriest you've ever been?"

In each lesson, regardless of the particular passage of Scripture you're studying, guide your group through three critical questions:

What does it say?

What does it mean?

What does it mean to me?

Avoid questions with "yes" or "no" answers. Get people talking, mulling over the Bible, and moving toward personal application.

Keep in mind three big-picture goals.

Bring them in. Be a safe place for people God leads to the group.

Build them up. Intentionally nurture all the members of your group.

Send them out. Commit yourself to helping members of your small group find meaningful ministry.

Essential Group Dynamics

As you guide your small group through each lesson, make it a conversation. Give others plenty of opportunity to speak. While the small group is like a Tiny Little Church, your role isn't to be a preacher. The people in your small group want a chance to practice the challenge the apostle Paul gave early Christians: "continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose" (Philippians 2:12-13).

Think of facilitating a conversation like bouncing a basketball. Bounce it a few times, then toss it to someone else. Let that person dribble it for a bit, and then toss it to another person. Encourage all to have a turn. Say thanks when they share. At times there may be silence; resist the temptation to fill it! Then, when you sense it's time, go ahead and start bouncing the ball of the next question.

Don't feel you have to be the "Bible answer person." For the sake of keeping the conversation moving, you may offer a relevant answer. At other times, you may wish to bounce it back to the group, "What do you guys think about this?"

Be careful you're not teaching tradition or biases. Compare Scripture with Scripture to get the fullest, most accurate meaning from a verse or passage.

Throughout, be sensitive to the Spirit's leading. Be flexible. That said, as a small-group leader, lead. Among those you might find in your group are Mr. Talk-A-Lot or Miss Know-It-All. If you're not careful, you might find that one of them hijacks the lesson and flies it to places unknown.

Again, lead toward application. Don't merely give information. Don't stop at inspiration. Go all the way to motivation. Ask, "In light of this lesson, what do you think God is trying to teach you?" And don't be surprised if you learn more than the group. You'll learn in the preparation stage, and you'll learn through what God is saying through the group as you work through the study together.

Pray for One Another

When your group meets, agree that the lesson isn't over until you've prayed together. Lead your group through a time of prayer every time you gather. Sometimes, you might devote the entire small-group time to just talking about needs and praying for each other. People need to talk about what's going on—their hopes and fears, the best and worst moments of the week.

Make sure each member of the group has a chance to share concerns and requests. Write down their prayer requests. Keep a record of how God answers. Occasionally, review together how God is answering the group's prayers.

As you do, be encouraged that God is working in and through you as a small-group leader.

Contributed by Dean Ridings, a longtime small-group leader. Dean and his wife, Kim, are members of Woodmen Valley Chapel in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and Dean is on staff with The Navigators.

Copyright © 2004, Group Publishing, Inc.