Let’s get right to it: There are times when you’ll have to “fire” a volunteer. Even when you do everything right, complete all due diligence, and are sure you’ve got the right person… well, nobody’s perfect. Not you, and not the people you recruit. And if you serve in ministry leadership for any length of time, it’s likely that at some point you’ll need to remove someone from a volunteer position.

There’s a right way to do this and a wrong way — actually, lots of wrong ways. So let’s start by revisiting the support system you’ve put in place. It gives you some natural and logical places to part company with a volunteer.

The “cleanest” tool is the term of service. If you’ve agreed that the person will serve for six months, then at the end of that time you’re not obligated to renew the agreement. You can celebrate and thanks that person for his or her time of service, then let that person go serve elsewhere.

The second line of defense is the level of detail you’ve built into the job description. For small groups, I always recommend building in a regular review/coaching schedule. It could be a monthly touch base, or some other event where you can talk through issues or concerns. This provides an early-warning system if a volunteer is struggling. Start by encouraging and advising. If your leader doesn’t improve, you’ve laid the groundwork to let them out of the commitment. If you haven’t built these kinds of protections at the front end, before recruiting your volunteer, removing him or her will be much more traumatic.

If you haven’t built in escape hatches prior to recruiting volunteers, there are still ways to let them go successfully and tactfully. My first approach is to allow the opportunity for self-removal. In my experience, volunteers who are struggling already know it. They’re losing sleep over it or get a knot in their stomachs when it’s time to do the job. Set aside some time to meet with your volunteers and ask a simple question, “How’s it going?” Then sit back and listen as they share their struggle and pain.

Be gracious and understanding as you offer them the opportunity to quit. Some will immediately take you up on the offer. Others will initially protest, saying they don’t want to leave you hanging without someone to fill the position. Again, respond graciously and explain that you’d rather find a replacement on short notice than have them struggle with something that’s really not a good fit. I can’t remember a time when using this method didn’t end in a grateful hug or handshake from a volunteer who was immensely relieved at being set free. This method works whether or not you have time limits or review systems in place. But it only works if the volunteer is sufficiently self-aware to know that they’re not able to do the job.

When you have a volunteer that is doing an awful job while thinking they’re doing a wonderful job, you have a challenge on your hands. For those who don’t possess the ability to accurately assess their own performance it falls to you to help them see that they’re not doing the job they agreed to do. If you’re able to do this, you can then offer them the opportunity to step down.

If, in spite of your best efforts, they don’t agree with your assessment, you’ve finally arrived at the point when the process can get ugly. It’s an extremely rare occurrence for those who’ve done everything in a thoughtful and deliberate way, but there may come a time when you have to confront a volunteer with the truth in love that he or she isn’t doing the job and, for the sake of the overall ministry, you’re removing them.

Even at this level — especially at this level, in fact — it’s crucial that you do everything with respect. Take the time to schedule an appointment and meet face to face. Never fire a leader over the phone, by e-mail or text message. Face-to-face meetings are hard because there may be anger, frustration, or other emotional responses that’ll make you uncomfortable. That’s all the more reason for doing it in person — you can express your care for them as a person, allow them to work through the emotions, and get to a point of talking about alternatives. God has a place for everyone and there’s a good fit for this person somewhere. In fact, try to have some options for service in mind before the meeting begins so. However, be prepared for the person to leave the meeting angry and/or hurt. He or she might even decide to leave the church. This is an extreme response but not outside the realm of possibility.

Being uncomfortable, even extremely uncomfortable, with this last scenario is not a reason to avoid doing the right thing. As a leader, it’s key that you protect the integrity of the overall ministry before the needs of any individual. Never threaten the health of your ministry simply to avoid conflict with an ineffective volunteer. Leaders make hard choices and take timely action.

Tim Kurth served as a Director of Christian Education in the Midwest for more than 20 years. During that time he assisted churches in starting a variety of volunteer ministries. He’s a husband, father, author and speaker. He and his wife Elizabeth live in Loveland, Colorado, where he serves as Camp Project Leader with Group Workcamps Foundation.