Culturally speaking, men are at a marked disadvantage when attempting to deal with feelings of vulnerability and openness. It is simply more socially acceptable for women to show their feelings of weakness and seek authenticity in their close relationships than it is for men.

This became quite clear to me when I read the book Wild at Heart by John Eldredge. As the mother of a young adult son I had often heard this book offered powerful insights into the heart of a man and the conflicts and desires that motivate him. After reading it, I realized what a powerful outlet a strong men’s ministry could be to any man pursuing an authentic and lasting spiritual relationship with Jesus Christ.

So with these thoughts in mind, what might men be looking for when they join a small group setting?

There are friends who destroy each other but a real friend sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24

In this fast-paced world we live in, men need a place where they can share perceived failures and struggles and seek support and encouragement from other men who feel like they do. They want to be listened to, not judged. No price can be placed on how valuable this can be. Sharing one’s personal experiences brings disclosure, and disclosure builds trust and intimacy. When trust and common values abound, a small group becomes a sacred place for brothers in Christ to gain strength from one another.

In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world! John 16:33

Many times men are compelled to behave as if they have all the answers. Small-group participation provides an opportunity for men to seek those answers, in a venue where everything doesn’t have to be under control and in perfect order – where they can admit that life is messy, sometimes even downright scary!

Finding a place to draw from faith journeys and wisdom of others who are also striving to grow spiritually, and deal with the tough challenges of life, is a fundamental reason most men make a commitment to a small group, and keep it.

Keep watch and pray, so that you will not give into temptation. For the spirit is willing but the body is weak. Matthew 26:41

Men want to be challenged to be better men. In that sense, small-group participation can be like a workout at the gym. Even if they were raised in the church, most men realize that each day brings its own temptations and struggles. They acknowledge that the accountability which comes with a small group will help them become better husbands, fathers, sons and friends. The fact that they’re willing to make that commitment suggests that they desire to be the best that God has created them to be.

This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24

Guys want to have some fun. Everyone works hard and has the daily grind of life to manage. Whatever the frequency of the small-group experience, members look forward to talking about last Monday’s football game, the newest and greatest Mexican food in town, or the opportunity to brag about their child’s latest accomplishment. While work relationships often mean competition and stress, small-group encounters build genuine friendships that provide laughs, social engagement, and just plain fun. Never underestimate the power of laughter to positively impact someone’s life.

Love your neighbor as yourself. Galatians 5:15

At the very core of all human beings is the need to feel loved and appreciated. Whatever the nature or theme of your Bible study, sharing authentic relationship with one another and modeling Jesus’ call to love one another is what it’s all about. If this fundamental truth is the foundation of your small group experience, it is bound to be a meaningful and impactful journey for all.

Sophia Winter serves as Advertising Director at Group Publishing, and loves being a Sunday school teacher to her 11- and 12-year-olds.