Before I get to the article part of this article, here's an activity I want you try next time you're together with a group of women:

Play a couple rounds of Telephone. Start at one point of the circle, or on one side of the room, and whisper one of the following into the first woman's ear. She'll whisper it to the next woman, and so on, until the message reaches the last woman in the room.

"Mary's daughter, who just graduated from law school, went to the doctor to have a test run on her lungs, and the nurse knew her from high school and ended up helping her reconnect with a teacher who runs a meals-on-the-go program that will help with some of her clients at the women's shelter."

"Gretchen took her Aunt Gracie to the awards ceremony on Tuesday night to interview the couple who recently adopted the children whose home was flooded last March. The story, and the photos she took last Saturday, will run in Sunday's paper."

Compare the original messages with the message spoken by the last woman in the room to hear it. Then discuss:

• What contributed to the message changing as it was passed along?
• How is this experience like or unlike what happens among women in church?

In reaction to that last question, women will frequently justify passing along information with a myriad of justifications…er, I mean, reasons… such as:

"I just wanted to know if you'd heard the same thing. I didn't want to ask her and risk offending her or making her feel bad."

"I know I probably shouldn't pass this along, but it's just been on my mind lately."

"I'm just telling you because I think this is something we should all be praying about."

Women have a toxic combination that often ends right in the middle of - let's call it what it is - gossip. First, we're caregivers, so we're naturally concerned about others. Second, we're verbal, so we listen, and talk, a lot. To top it all off, we're Christians. So we'd better be praying about all these concerns, and the more people we can share with and get to pray along with us the better, right?

Right.

And wrong.

Yes, we're supposed to pray for those in need. That means taking the prayer need to God, not others. Yes, we're supposed to pray together, but God doesn't need for us to bring him all the details. He already knows more details than anyone else!

People get hurt when we talk more than we should. The people involved often get hurt because more people are talking about them than they want, and the information is usually diluted and distorted. The people talking about the situation get hurt, because instead of acting in response to concern - by prayer or service - they're spending time talking. Most important, our relationship with God is hurt. We're not taking needs to him immediately and trusting him to 1) know what's going on, 2) act in everyone's best interest, and 3) challenge us to step up when called to action and sit down and be quiet when we're not.

Gossip dilutes and distorts reality, and gossip dilutes and distorts our relationship with God.

Consider women who quickly come to mind when you think of prayer warriors. Now, consider how much time they spend sharing information and to what extent they share it. How does their behavior compare to women you know who regularly gossip?

1 Thessalonians 5:17 says, "Pray continually." I'll assume that to mean I should be praying when I'm talking, listening, and sharing. Will you join me?

Susan Lawrence is a Women's Ministry Consultant for Group for Women and coordinates Women's Ministries in central Illinois. Her first Bible study, Pure Purpose, released in April 2010. http://purepurposebook.wordpress.com