Remember the clubhouse signs forbidding boys (or girls) to enter? The signs were all about exclusion, and it was difficult to not be included in a little community. I remember scheming an invasion of the boys' clubhouse, so we could spread "girl cooties" everywhere. If we were in the girls' clubhouse and heard boys were trying to invade, our focus shifted from whatever we were doing to defending our territory.

Sometimes we do that in the adult world, too. A ministry friend recently called to share concerns about a shift that would open all small groups to both men and women. No more women-only (or men-only) groups. Our conversation made me think through the benefits of women's small groups. I'm not saying all women should only be in women's small groups. There are great benefits to groups with both men and women -- getting the opposite gender's perspective, spiritually growing alongside a spouse, infusing accountability into a relationship. This isn't an either/or argument. What's essential is that you meet the needs of the people in your community.

As you explore what those needs are, consider a few benefits offered through women's small groups.

1. Women speak a woman's language. All women don't communicate the same way, but there are some consistencies that help us speak and listen to women in ways many men don't understand. Sometimes we don't want someone to fix a situation. We want to talk…and talk and talk. We notice cues and details. We want someone to pat our back and pass the tissue. We want time. And then we need to move on. Women will let women talk but will also tell a friend when it's time to move on.

2. Women know a woman's danger zones. Because we like to talk, we can also thrive on sharing information that shouldn't be shared. In short: Yes, we gossip. We know it's a problem, and we especially need to call each other out when we're gathering together as a community of Christ-followers. We're more likely to confront each other when we have the safety of other women, because we don't want to be judged by men. Sure, women can hurt our feelings, and that's another danger zone: getting hurt and holding it in or talking behind someone's back. But because we know it's a danger zone, and we notice the details of what's going on with women around us, we'll call each other out more readily when we're together.

3. Women share "woman stuff" with women. We might not share something intimate every time we're together, but we're much more likely to talk about miscarriages, rape, abuse, pregnancy, sex, menopause, and mammograms in a group of women. Be honest, how many men really want to hear all the details?

4. Women need to be called by name. Not every woman is in a relationship, and when she's in a small group of couples, she can feel incomplete. When a woman's husband dies, she might feel comforted by being in the same group of couples, but she also might be in such pain that she slips away to ease the heartache. Even those who are married and absolutely love their husbands can benefit from stepping from underneath his umbrella every now and then. It's nice to be recognized as Susan sometimes instead of Tim's wife or Caitlin and Courtney's mom even though I love those identities. God made me unique, and it's important I - and others - acknowledge and celebrate that uniqueness by discovering who I am as well as my passions, talents, and gifts.

Again, I'm not recommending every woman be in a women-only small group, and I'm certainly not saying that women-only groups have no problems. Because they're made up of people, there are going to be misunderstandings and conflicts. Spiritual growth requires a balance of worship, prayer, service, Bible study, etc. Seek the place where you'll grow best.

Susan Lawrence is a Women's Ministry Consultant for Group for Women and coordinates Women's Ministries in central Illinois. Her first Bible study, Pure Purpose, released in April 2010. http://purepurposebook.wordpress